Spawn's She-Wolf by Ciara St James

Author:Ciara St James [James, Ciara St]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ciara St James
Published: 2024-04-19T00:00:00+00:00

Kimera: Chapter 12

I tossed and turned all night. My dreams were filled with memories and nightmares about Paden. I was up and down several times. When I was awake, I couldn’t stop thinking about Spawn. I was still stunned he’d come all the way here to find me. I’d been mortified that he had to find out about my past the way he did, if at all. However, as last evening progressed and we talked more with Claudia and Sonny, my mortification lessened.

More than anything, as I thought about Paden, the angrier I got. I didn’t want him to continue to affect my relationships or my happiness. I’d never been able to fully trust a man since him. This led me to only have a couple of actual boyfriends. I’d never been comfortable enough with them to tell them what happened to me when I was a teen, nor to fully open up and commit to them. Sexually, it was hard to relax, and I know it was a big part of what led to us never lasting. However, I didn’t want that to happen with Spawn. I’d tried since meeting him that day at the hospital to deny he did anything other than make me mad, but I’d been lying to myself or trying to. Being away for these past couple of weeks had been hard, and it had as much to do with leaving Troian as it did with leaving him. I missed seeing and being with him.

Every single day, he’d come to see me, or I’d see him at the clubhouse. Even after my kidnapping, I tried to push him away, but I wanted him near, too. I think the shock of what almost happened to me on top of what did happen when I was a kid and how similar they would’ve been, in a way had pushed me to try to protect myself.

Now, with him confessing how he felt about me and asking that I call him Aidan, it opened my eyes to what I’d deep down subconsciously wanted, which was for Spawn to be as attracted to me and to want me as much as I did him. You’d think realizing this would make the next part easy, but it didn’t. I had to figure out how to tell him all that and then carry it through. I was nervous as hell about having a physical relationship with him.

What if I froze or freaked out during sex? What if I couldn’t satisfy him? Or if he wanted things I couldn’t give him, and if I said no, would he say so long? Getting out of my own head enough to relax and enjoy sex in the past had been an issue. I went around and around in circles in my brain, which explained why I was dragging this morning and was willing to kill to get good coffee.

Last night when he walked me to my room, he’d pointed next door and said that was his room.

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